An Open Letter To All Men

This is a call for men to renew their fidelity. To walk in self control, and to choose life over death.

The increasing tears of wives as the result of husbands who have decided that the value of marriage fidelity is no longer relevant is commonplace. In a culture that has abandoned most of its stigmas about sex outside of marriage, many men and women are now just winking at behavior they once knew without a doubt to be wrong!

My wife and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary recently and by the grace of God we have remained faithful throughout our marriage and both of us, as well as both sets of our parents (married for 60+ years) will tell you the result of this faithfulness is total trust, freedom, stability, and security in the marriage. We are best friends and lovers! It’s GRRREAT and it is our prayer that more married couples will begin to understand the incredible benefits of total faithfulness in marriage.

The sobering reality is that we both know many couples who have experienced infidelity in their marriages and how negatively it has impacted not only them as a couple, but also their children. Sure some have been able to keep the truth of what they have done from their children …but as we know with all sin, there are consequences. Another sobering fact is that marriage infidelitylike all sin has no redeeming qualities what so ever.

So why is it so common in our culture today?

Here’s a quick synopsis: We live in a powerful, invasive culture that influences our consciousness every moment of every day. Sexual images and talk is everywhere… movies, TV, magazines, music, the Internet, advertising and smart phones deliver the message loud and clear. Our culture erases the sexual boundaries in part through devaluing virginity while elevating sexual equality; it devalues fidelity while elevating personal fulfillment and it devalues moral absolutes while elevating situational ethics. The roles of men and women are more confusing than ever as a result of the increasingly rapid shift in male-female roles. Resulting in sad, clueless, weak men who are lacking self control and totally confused as to what a man is.

Regardless of whether you are single or married, as long as we allow the world we live in to dictate our behavior we don’t have a rat’s chance in a cage with cats to live unscathed, much less the life God has promised us when we follow Him and keep his commandments:

“Fear God and keep His commandments, for God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes12:13-14).

  • Do you take seriously God’s commandments in your life and do you believe Him at His Word?
  • If you are single and aspire to be married one day, is it your desire to have a marriage that is distinguished by the words trust, freedom stability security, best friend, lover and faithful?
  • If so, what are you doing NOW to ensure this happen? “Like a man whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control” (Proverbs 25:28). “The body is not meant for immorality, but for the Lord… flee from sexual immorality” (I Corinthians 6:13,18). There is NEVER an excuse for immorality… i.e. pornography, sex outside of marriage, sexting, etc. EVER!
  • Single or married, do you have appropriate boundaries and are you maintaining them?
  • If married how would your spouse best describe your marriage? Don’t know? Ask!
  • “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity” (Proverbs 11:3). Friendships can lead to inappropriate intimacy …are your closest friendships with both male and female healthy and do they enhance your relationship with the Lord? If not, it’s time to make some changes!

Here’s some great news in a world that’s filled with wrong messages and it comes from time tested, culturally relevant, best all–time seller; the inspired Word of God! Here’s a guarantee, if taken to heart and followed, the truth found in the Bible, beginning with the acceptance of what Christ did for you and all mankind will not only help you as a man clearly know your role, but keep you from marriage infidelity and enhance the quality of your life way beyond what you thought possible (John 10:10).

Men, it’s time to grow up and demonstrate self-control among other qualities that Christ demonstrated (Galatians 5:22-25). Quit being a wuss and choose to become a real man by following the example of the greatest man who ever lived… Jesus Christ! There is no better example than in the Man/God Jesus, who lived life on this earth with excellence in both his behavior and character. Become vigilant in keeping your eyes focused on Him! “A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth” (Proverbs 17:24).

Become a man who is looked up to by others because of your love for Christ! Become a husband whose wife has great security in your love for her. Become a father whose children understand from your example that the best thing they will ever do is become dependent upon the One who created them! Follow the commandments of the God who created you and everyone else and quit settling for the same lies Satan has been dishing out since the days of Adam and Eve! After all “He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind” (Proverbs 11:29).

Life is too short and eternity too long, to live your life as if it revolves around you.

– Article contributed by Tim Chastain, Director of Men’s Teams/International Teams for the Master’s Men ministry.