April 21, 2011

Two of the top five desires of most men are sex and success, it’s in our DNA.

I am confident that 99% of the men and women who read this would wholeheartedly agree with that statement. In fact, if you disagree please write me and tell me why!

It is also true that almost every male has achieved success in life to some degree whether in school, sports, business, marriage, or parenting. Every married man I have known desires to have a healthy sex life with their wife, as well as to be successful in every other area of life. Yes, the desire to be successful goes beyond work, it extends into pretty much every area that a man enters.

If you are married, how’s your sex life and do you see yourself succeeding in what matters to you most?

The answer to that question will no doubt have many responses. For some of those reading, both are going very well for you. For others, one is going well and the other is not. And then there are those where neither are going very well.

Want to know how to have both of these desires fulfilled at a level that brings you great satisfaction?

Both sex and success are what you make it. Neither just happen, at least not the healthy and meaningful type. Both take a lot of hard work! Yes, I know saying that a healthy sex life takes hard work is not what you want to hear, but in a marriage it most certainly does! And it should be of no surprise to anyone that great success almost always takes hard work.

After 25 years of marriage I am still a work in progress. As a husband, and a father to four children [two of whom are young adults].

Did you catch that? “Still a work in progress.”

I hope that we can agree that remaining teachable throughout life will lend itself to continued learning. As for me and my closest friends, we do the best we can to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. This in turn keeps our hearts teachable as we make it a habit to take what we have learned and put it into practice [most of the time]. In whatever area that it pertains, whether marriage, work or something else. The result of doing so brings fulfillment in my life as well as in the lives of my friends. The alternative is not an option in our life, we know too many men who are only interested in one thing, themselves. As long as they stay focused on themselves they remain miserable males, who often die lonely and bitter.

When you think of Sex and Success think of S.H.O.U.L.D.E.R.S, and remember there is hard work involved!

Submit to God and one-another — James 4:7; Ephesians 5:21

Hard-Work — Proverbs 6:4-11; I Timothy 5:8, 6:6-10

Openness — Psalm 139:23-24

Understanding in your walk and with your wife –- Eph 5:15-17; I Pet 3:7

Love — I Corinthians 13

Desire God — Psalm 37:4-7; Psalm 146; Philippians 1:20-24

Encourage & Empower — I Thess. 5:11; I Samuel 17:48-52; I Cor. 12:6,11

Respect & Respond — I Thessalonnians 4:1-8, 5:12; Romans 12:1-2

Serve — Galatians 5:13; I Peter 4:10-11

– Article contributed by Tim Chastain, Director of Men’s Teams for the Master’s Men ministry.